There are more years lately when the question doesn’t even come up. Either I know that I definitely won’t be participating, or that I will. No hesitation, no agonizing. But even when I tell myself that I’ve done my last NaNo, the possibility nags. It’s particularly naggy this year. And particularly confused.
I tentatively thought I would spend September and October working on the massive rewrite of Gift of the Ancien, and leave A Well-Educated Boy for NaNo. Well, that isn’t an option anymore because Boy has been agitating to be written and I did peck out about 500 words yesterday, nearly 1,000 today so far, with plans to keep at it.
That leaves me only two possible ideas for NaNo, one of them nonfiction. I really need to get going on Set Me Free, the book on the death penalty, but I don’t know whether all the quotes (and there will be a lot of them) can be counted against the 50,000 words. Probably not. But I certainly can’t leave them out because they’re the basic framework of the book. And I’m not sure the intense pressure of NaNo will be conducive to how I want to write it.
That leaves Empire of Masks, a sort of fantasy. It’s the only story that has accumulated sufficient notes as a basis for further development, and that has very little text that would have to be discarded if I were to commit it to NaNo. Still… While it’s a story I would like to write someday, it doesn’t have very high priority in my mind.
I don’t even know why in the world I’m trying to work my way into doing NaNo in November, at a time when I really shouldn’t. Maybe it’s just because I’ve done it for so many years, that it’s, in a way, a part of my life that I don’t want to abandon.
What makes a whole lot more sense is to go ahead with Boy for September and October and try to get it published before the end of the year. If I can get it out of the way, that would leave me free to tackle Gift of the Ancien. Like Empire of Masks, it’s somwhat of a fantasy, but more science fictionish, and it has been hanging fire for so long that I’m in danger of taking it to the grave with me.
Oh, whatever will I do? Someone help me to my fainting couch, please.